52 Weeks of 52 Week 18

May 27, 2020

Week 18

I often find myself pondering the changes that my 

Life has experienced

Over the past few years.  I have come to 

Value and cherish what I have gained from 

Each of these moments. The changes did not come without pain.

You see, being loved and giving love always requires 

One to embrace "all of the moments".  Even the 

Ugly moments have made imprints on my heart and have

Tuned my heart to still sing "Hallelujah!"

I have found myself this morning, thinking on the moments when I 

Met and later joined hearts with the guy who came into my life

One day when I least expected it. I am blessed being the wife of 

Timothy Ray Vaughn.

He has shown me Christ's love like

You can not imagine.  He is the most

Real person I know.  I am beginning to understand and 

Acclimate to the stability, security & love he has brought my life. 

Yet, even more, I am reminded today of the sovereignty of God and the 

Vast amount of goodness He has chased me with 

All the days of my life.  God has been with me through it all and has been 

Unbelievably 

Gracious to allow me to experience this renewal of 

Hope and love I thought was 

Never possible. 

52 Weeks of 52: Week 17

May 20, 2020
Week 17

Ahhhh summer break 

I used to experience a period of

settling in

sleeping in

reading books

reorganizing spaces

anticipated coffee dates

long leisurely lunches

and weeks of traveling to visit family

As the girls have grown 

and my job has changed 

so have my summers.

I remember every summer

up until about 8 years ago

I would make a list

Not like one you'd see 

in a journal

on a desk

posted by your bed

or prominently hung on the fridge

But one the size of a poster board

I'd split the paper into four quadrants

and the girls and I would each write our own

"Goals for the Summer"
in one of the squares
We would cross of goals as they were met
or even sometimes alter them
to be more realistic

The goals varied from year to year

but included everything 

from trying new recipes

menu planning

learning to ride a bike
practicing a new skill
exercising

reading goals 

or should I say...

parent induced reading goals

A favorite memory was Ellie
one summer, determined to meet

her 3 goal minimum requirement wrote:

1. Have as many friends over as possible.
2. Spend time with friends.
3. Play board games

In fact, that may have been the last time
I tried using the large family poster

for summer goal setting purposes.

My last four summers have been filled

with goals centered around
finishing a degree
reading
writing and
research

to catch up on past due assignments

or to cram in as many classes as possible
Thank the Lord that is done!

I decided today that it is time
to resurrect the large list
and hang it prominently for me to see
I am going to be intentional about what I include
I am going to be precise about what I will decide to accomplish
I might even take a cue from Ellie and
include some socializing
(6 feet distance of course)
I think after these 8 weeks of
uncertainty
crazy and
non-structured busy-ness
I may need
a list to help keep me grounded....
I wonder how many I can accomplish poolside.

52 Weeks of 52: Week 16

May 13, 2020
Week 16

The last week of school always leaves me
tired
worn out
exhausted
and running on fumes
I always vow--
that I will enjoy it more
not stress as much
not over-commit
or extend myself too thin

Throw in a pandemic
and a new set of rules
for ending the year:
no gatherings
no assemblies
no parties
no speeches
no figuring out how many
cakes to order
chairs to set out or
if we have ironed the gowns
and have enough caps
Basically, there is
no flexibility
because every virtual gathering is
scheduled
planned and
arranged ahead of time.
There has been no real closure.

Between
the zooms
the supply pick ups
and being in an empty school building
I have
lost track of time
lost track of days
lost track of what I was doing
even though I have
a large matrix schedule to follow
It has been
weird
not normal
repetitive
different.
We've organized parades
put signs in the yard
We've made every attempt to stay connected
And I am finding myself
more tired
more worn out
more exhausted
and I've run out of fumes to even run on
But this time my tired is more emotional
than physical.

I am so ready to move forward
but yet I'm told I can't move on
but instead I must pivot
into a new direction
with new guidelines
with new rules
But no worries,
I'l be right here
all summer
Trying to figure it out.

52 Weeks of 52 - Week 15

May 6, 2020
Week 15

It is Mother's Day
I chuckled when reminded
that most years,
on this day-
 I often asked for
"Everyone just to get along"
and that the girls seriously discussed it
and planned to carry it out.
"Even if I am mean to you -- you need to be nice to me"
Hearing the story now is sweet.

Long conversations
Sweet words of encouragement
Thoughtful gestures
Face times, flowers and
fond memories shared with each daughter
rounded out my day.
I even received special texts and shout outs from
"daughters of my heart"
Those girls who have
worked their way into my heart
They are welcome in my home
any time
any day
any hour
and they know my door
and fridge are always open!
They have (what I call )
"fridge-la-ges" in my home.

My mind drifted today
to the many "Moms" my
girls have had
throughout the years.
I am so grateful for the
Julies
Sarahs
Gingers
Kellys
Karas and Stuckeys
that have influenced their lives
I don't even know how I would have survived
without them.
These women have made
lasting impressions
leaving handprints on the hearts of my girls.

Often times,
as a Mom
I have constantly wondered
Was I enough for my kids?
Were the decisions I made right?
Most days, I was insecure
I hoped I didn't
mess up
miss out or
short change them in some way.

Today-- I had quite a bit of alone time.
Time to think about the way the Lord
has allowed my girls lives to be
touched
blessed
and nurtured by other women.
just how they needed it
just when they needed it
I am grateful for these women.