52 Weeks of 52: Week 12

Week 12 -- April 15, 2020

We were supposed to

have a another driver

in the family by now

But alas, Corona!

In this quarantine 

we have taken time to

practice driving

to the store

to Sonic

to wherever is needed

and sometimes wanted

Yesterday, while driving,

I remembered 

all of the 

pre-practice lessons 

down the old driveway

and country gravel roads

It seemed like years ago.

when her feet barely reached the pedals and

she would scoot her seat way up close

and drive on the gravel drive

pretending she was headed somewhere grand

or attempt to park the car at home

(without driving into the side of the house).

In those moments,

her being 16 seemed

far far away

She would often remind me of the 

years

months 

and days 

of when it was going to happen

At the time -- it didn't seem even possible.

But, as time always does 

it marches on

keeps going

never stops

As we drove, 

my mind traveled down

the road of nostalgia

"I can't believe she's 16"

"One more in the house"

"But that's only for 2 more years"

The thoughts tumbled into my brain

one by one

Eventually, giving me a feeling of grief

down to the pit of my soul.

I found myself wanting

all of  them to be young again

all of them to be home again

all of them to stay young

In that exact moment 

a phrase 

from a song

playing in the car

played carefully into my heart.

Your love will not run empty
Your love's a well that will never run dry
Your love will not run empty
Your love grows sweeter and sweeter with time

A stillness came over my thoughts
A peace invaded my soul
This moment
was a game changer
a mind rearranger
a mindset maker
a joy bringer

These moments of motherhood
having them home -- all of it
I treasure deeply
There is a natural mourning
that takes place
as these days seem fleeting--
and that's OK.
I will endeavor to
embrace each day
find joy in each day
with a willingness to know --
they are changing.
I have so much love in my heart for
these precious daughters of mine.

But, far greater, than this love
I have for my three gems is the
great love He has for me.
This love will never disappoint
This love will never run empty
This love is always there
Sweeter and sweeter with time.
This love is eternal.
And I am thankful.

 "Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever."Psalm 136:26

Song Lyrics:  Maverick City "You Are Loved"

52 Weeks of 52: Week 11

Week 11:  April 8, 2020

Ancient words

fresh and new

bringing life

renewing hope

Sitting on the deck

reading the resurrection story,

a phrase jumps out 

in a brand new way.

I am reminded

it all happened

"...just as He said"

Reading it

brings peace.

He had told them He would

and

He did.

When I lose sight 

of His promises

I flounder

I fake it

I fail

When I am trusting 

in anything else 

I am without hope.

It doesn't mean life

is perfect

without problems

or always easy to figure out

What it means --

When facing adversity and

doubt creeps in

I press in

I persevere and 

choose to believe

because it is, "just as He said."

He is risen 

and that is all I need. 

52 Weeks of 52: Week 10

Week 10: April 1, 2020

Eleonore -- Shining Light
Grace -- God's favor

I sat waiting to meet a friend
for a birthday celebration.
I was shocked.
I was amazed.
While I didn't need an explanation on
HOW it had happened
Moments before,
I had just seen the double lines
and was like "Wait.... what?"
Years ago
all things baby
had been sold,
consigned,
or given to someone in need.
On the precipice of
what I thought was "being done",
life's trajectory
was instantly changed
one summer evening in July.
Sitting and waiting
my emotions perplexed
the Lord spoke softly
calmed my questions
spoke to my heart.
He confirmed,
really what I already knew.
His plan is perfect.
His ways impeccable.
I knew this unexpected blessing
would surely be something grand.

Growing inside of me
she was
surrounded by prayer
serenaded by song
and exactly on her due date
was welcomed with expectant and loving arms.

He made her perfectly
fierce
loyal
loving &
kind
a lover of people
with a discerning heart
in possession of so much compassion
it oozes from her being.
She is a joy bringer
with the belly laugh to beat the band
She brings life.
She brings energy.
She brings fun to the dullest of moments.
She is brave.
She is strong
and can do whatever her mind determines.
He has created her
with resilience
with passion
with a heartbeat for Him

I knew back on that day
200 months ago
that indeed the Lord
had great plans for this one.
There is NO doubt
Eleonore Grace--
shining light of God's favor
your story is just now
getting started

I wait eagerly
with an expectant heart
and confident mind that
"God is the one who began this good work in you, and I am certain that he won't stop before it is complete on the day that Christ Jesus returns." (Phil. 1:6)

52 Weeks of 52; Week 9

Week 9: March 25, 2020

Wow.
I contemplate all that has
happened
taken place and
become a reality

We have
sanitized
resanitized
shifted our plan
reworked the plan
adjusted our approach
tweaked schedules
made meals
sanitized
resanitized
made longer range plans
(filled with questions)
but ready to be put in place
It is all so new
Yet, beginning to feel so normal

I continue to arrive
at my usual destination each day.
letting the last bars of a song finish
while sipping on my last drops of coffee

My rushed pace no longer needed
I spend a few more reflective moments
in this space
thinking
pondering
reflecting
I have begun to call these moments
My dashboard devotions
Lasting minutes
But packed with power

This week I have encouraged myself
before leaving my car
to think on the
truths I know
going into all of this uncertainty
These truths,
the dashboard devotion discoveries
have created
special moments of clarity
specific declarations of truth
and have provided much needed sanity.

Not going to lie
These past two weeks
This next month
are and will be filled with challenges
that I know will make us
rework
redo
replan and
resanitize.

But the things I know to be true
He sees
He knows
He will provide
He is faithful
He is powerful
He is here

These dashboard devotion truths
give me hope
give me strength
give me purpose.

"Your steadfast love, O Lord, is as great as all the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds."  Psalm 36:5

52 Weeks of 52: Week 8

March 25, 2020
Week 8

Facing weeks ahead that are
unprecedented
unique and
uncharted

Nothing I could have learned
Nothing I could have been prepared for
Nothing I could have imagined

It has made the past conversations
with Dr. Turner
about the importance of
relationships
climate and culture
servant leadership
and focusing on
being kind
being intentional
being authentic
to be successful
No longer seem idealistic
But are a reality.

I’ve seen first hand
Having these things
in place
trumps any
fully thought out plan or protocol

I’ve seen
more camaraderie
more kindness
more patience
more hands at work
more creative thinking
more understanding
more compassion
more togetherness
And it’s been beautiful.

The lessons and take-always
this week
Focusing on the things that matter
Always wins!
Always!

52 Weeks of 52: Week 7

Week 7:  March 11, 2020




When I look at these faces
these beauties
these queens
these women
I am amazed
I am blessed
I am perplexed
How... how
can I get the privilege
to be called Mom.

Affectionately, they call me
Mumsy
and daily they cause my heart
to spill over with
gratefulness
thankfulness
wonder
and amazement.

I say-- I am proud.
but they don't
they can't possibly understand the
depths to which my pride in
who they are
brings me to tears
creates in me joy
causes me to worship and
sends me to my knees.

This past weekend we enjoyed
a brief and fast paced time together
surprising Elles and watching her
perform in Nashville.
It was a blessing to see them together
(if even for just small brief moments)
enjoying each other.
These gals
These Cheetah sisters
These daughters of mine
are so. much. fun!

Seriously, even though
I had the onset of a cold that slowed me down
I enjoyed the laughter
the time
the conversations and
watching how they love each other and
receiving with humility the way they love me.

I am grateful for
God's protection
God's grace and mercy
and how His hand
guides and protects
each of us.

I learn from them regularly
about life
about myself and
about how God has crafted
each of our days


Being your Mumsy
is an honor.


P.S.  The "trendy" sweatshirt you mocked me for buying somehow now hangs in the closet of one of you.... Hmmmm. maybe it was a cool buy after all (hahahahaha)

52 Weeks of 52: Week 6

March 4, 2020
Week 6

My life seems to

maintain a dysfunctional balance

of being a control freak 

that orchestrates the outcome 

of ALL things

to making sure everyone is happy

and losing control of myself in the mix of things.

It's not a great combination, 

but rather a toxic cocktail that produces

self doubt

insecurity

anxious thoughts

defeat

lots of negativity 

protective walls &

isolation.

Recently,

I've been determined to defeat

these tendencies 

these habits

these things that 

sabotage  

drive a wedge 

create confusion 

and have me seek the road that's

most traveled

most safe

most likely to have me not face difficulties head on.

And what have I discovered?

I can do hard things. 

Well, that was the plan, anyway.

I quickly found myself 

in the middle of messes

in the center of stress

and up to my eyeballs in what looked like

the impossible.

But in these times of

unpredictability

uncertainty

and crazy 

I have become keenly aware 

of profound truths.

When doing hard things
 I acknowledge...Christ in me!

This allows me to do hard things &

accomplish the unbelievable

with confidence 

and assurance.

Some days I've looked back

and wondered,

"How was that even possible?"

Quickly I see traces of 

His presence

His hand

His heart and I realize

without Him, 

none of it would be possible.

Doing hard things

IS HARD. 

This doesn't mean 

it's negative

it has to be stressful

or you can't have peace

I have seen in my season

of "hard things"

He has used these things

to teach me incredible lessons.

I have been 

more centered

more focused

more aware of just how good He has been to me.

Doing hard things

teaches me great life lessons of 

being vulnerable

asking for help

seeking His face

being open to admit my weaknesses

and acknowledging--

I  can learn from others

I am allowed to mess up

It's okay for me to not be the best, 

and reasonable to always strive to be better

I need to be still

and listen 

ask for direction

step out in faith 

(even if it feels like that scene

from Raiders of the Lost Ark)

I trust Him and have

developed a faith that knows 

when He is speaking.

Sometimes it has been a soft whisper and 

other times, He speaks loudly

above the noise of my life.

But His speaking to my heart 

has made this "doing hard things"

the most amazing time of my life

I have seen Him take me 

beyond my fears

and into opportunities that 

years ago

I thought impossible.

It's Week 6 -

I am seeing Him move 

I am seeing His hand in ALL things

I no longer want to control it all

I aim only to please Him.

And I'm finding REST in it all.