52 Weeks of 52; Week 9

Week 9: March 25, 2020

Wow.
I contemplate all that has
happened
taken place and
become a reality

We have
sanitized
resanitized
shifted our plan
reworked the plan
adjusted our approach
tweaked schedules
made meals
sanitized
resanitized
made longer range plans
(filled with questions)
but ready to be put in place
It is all so new
Yet, beginning to feel so normal

I continue to arrive
at my usual destination each day.
letting the last bars of a song finish
while sipping on my last drops of coffee

My rushed pace no longer needed
I spend a few more reflective moments
in this space
thinking
pondering
reflecting
I have begun to call these moments
My dashboard devotions
Lasting minutes
But packed with power

This week I have encouraged myself
before leaving my car
to think on the
truths I know
going into all of this uncertainty
These truths,
the dashboard devotion discoveries
have created
special moments of clarity
specific declarations of truth
and have provided much needed sanity.

Not going to lie
These past two weeks
This next month
are and will be filled with challenges
that I know will make us
rework
redo
replan and
resanitize.

But the things I know to be true
He sees
He knows
He will provide
He is faithful
He is powerful
He is here

These dashboard devotion truths
give me hope
give me strength
give me purpose.

"Your steadfast love, O Lord, is as great as all the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds."  Psalm 36:5

52 Weeks of 52: Week 8

March 25, 2020
Week 8

Facing weeks ahead that are
unprecedented
unique and
uncharted

Nothing I could have learned
Nothing I could have been prepared for
Nothing I could have imagined

It has made the past conversations
with Dr. Turner
about the importance of
relationships
climate and culture
servant leadership
and focusing on
being kind
being intentional
being authentic
to be successful
No longer seem idealistic
But are a reality.

I’ve seen first hand
Having these things
in place
trumps any
fully thought out plan or protocol

I’ve seen
more camaraderie
more kindness
more patience
more hands at work
more creative thinking
more understanding
more compassion
more togetherness
And it’s been beautiful.

The lessons and take-always
this week
Focusing on the things that matter
Always wins!
Always!

52 Weeks of 52: Week 7

Week 7:  March 11, 2020




When I look at these faces
these beauties
these queens
these women
I am amazed
I am blessed
I am perplexed
How... how
can I get the privilege
to be called Mom.

Affectionately, they call me
Mumsy
and daily they cause my heart
to spill over with
gratefulness
thankfulness
wonder
and amazement.

I say-- I am proud.
but they don't
they can't possibly understand the
depths to which my pride in
who they are
brings me to tears
creates in me joy
causes me to worship and
sends me to my knees.

This past weekend we enjoyed
a brief and fast paced time together
surprising Elles and watching her
perform in Nashville.
It was a blessing to see them together
(if even for just small brief moments)
enjoying each other.
These gals
These Cheetah sisters
These daughters of mine
are so. much. fun!

Seriously, even though
I had the onset of a cold that slowed me down
I enjoyed the laughter
the time
the conversations and
watching how they love each other and
receiving with humility the way they love me.

I am grateful for
God's protection
God's grace and mercy
and how His hand
guides and protects
each of us.

I learn from them regularly
about life
about myself and
about how God has crafted
each of our days


Being your Mumsy
is an honor.


P.S.  The "trendy" sweatshirt you mocked me for buying somehow now hangs in the closet of one of you.... Hmmmm. maybe it was a cool buy after all (hahahahaha)

52 Weeks of 52: Week 6

March 4, 2020
Week 6

My life seems to

maintain a dysfunctional balance

of being a control freak 

that orchestrates the outcome 

of ALL things

to making sure everyone is happy

and losing control of myself in the mix of things.

It's not a great combination, 

but rather a toxic cocktail that produces

self doubt

insecurity

anxious thoughts

defeat

lots of negativity 

protective walls &

isolation.

Recently,

I've been determined to defeat

these tendencies 

these habits

these things that 

sabotage  

drive a wedge 

create confusion 

and have me seek the road that's

most traveled

most safe

most likely to have me not face difficulties head on.

And what have I discovered?

I can do hard things. 

Well, that was the plan, anyway.

I quickly found myself 

in the middle of messes

in the center of stress

and up to my eyeballs in what looked like

the impossible.

But in these times of

unpredictability

uncertainty

and crazy 

I have become keenly aware 

of profound truths.

When doing hard things
 I acknowledge...Christ in me!

This allows me to do hard things &

accomplish the unbelievable

with confidence 

and assurance.

Some days I've looked back

and wondered,

"How was that even possible?"

Quickly I see traces of 

His presence

His hand

His heart and I realize

without Him, 

none of it would be possible.

Doing hard things

IS HARD. 

This doesn't mean 

it's negative

it has to be stressful

or you can't have peace

I have seen in my season

of "hard things"

He has used these things

to teach me incredible lessons.

I have been 

more centered

more focused

more aware of just how good He has been to me.

Doing hard things

teaches me great life lessons of 

being vulnerable

asking for help

seeking His face

being open to admit my weaknesses

and acknowledging--

I  can learn from others

I am allowed to mess up

It's okay for me to not be the best, 

and reasonable to always strive to be better

I need to be still

and listen 

ask for direction

step out in faith 

(even if it feels like that scene

from Raiders of the Lost Ark)

I trust Him and have

developed a faith that knows 

when He is speaking.

Sometimes it has been a soft whisper and 

other times, He speaks loudly

above the noise of my life.

But His speaking to my heart 

has made this "doing hard things"

the most amazing time of my life

I have seen Him take me 

beyond my fears

and into opportunities that 

years ago

I thought impossible.

It's Week 6 -

I am seeing Him move 

I am seeing His hand in ALL things

I no longer want to control it all

I aim only to please Him.

And I'm finding REST in it all.

52 Weeks od 52: Week 5

February 26, 2020
Week 5

Since reaching my half century mark
I find myself thinking on
the good old days
before "life" really set in
where my biggest decision was
Should I finish that algebra homework or
Watch the new episode of Remington Steele?
The speed at which these memories
grab and tug my heart
seems to be speeding up
in these 52 weeks of 52.
I imagine this is normal

The reality of getting old
sinks deeper
every.single.day.
52 seemed ancient years ago
and now it is who I am.
My habits and priorities are
slowing changing.
Kind of like that Progressive Commercial,
I am slowly becoming like my parents
I guess it's about time
I am 52, right?

My commute to work
even though short
has always been
about maximizing that time
Making a phone call
Thinking about work
Giving last minute instructions
to whatever child happened to be
in the car at the time.
Eating my breakfast
Barking orders
Mentally checking through
what was happening at work
after work
after dinner
before bed,
and then at work the next day.

In this 5th week of 52
I had a realization of what
my drive to work is now
It is a brief and cherished
15 minutes of "me" time.
And...
I love it!
Sometimes I am silent
Sometimes I sing
Sometimes I process
Sometimes I actually even
talk to myself
out loud.
This winding country road to work
has become a cherished friend.
I enjoy the sunrise
I enjoy the beauty around me
I am NOT thinking of work
or shoving down my breakfast
I am offering my mind a break
quieting my heart
I am at rest.

My former
get to work
rush in the door
is now replaced with
making sure I park
facing the field to catch
the last part of the sun peeking over the horizon
or the last part of the song.
It has been peaceful.
and has brought sweet rest to my soul.
But more importantly
It has created space --
a 15 minute window
for Him to speak to me.
And that...
That is what I love most.

Getting old is not always easy
and not always fun
but I am finding the benefits
of perspective
of stillness
of slowing down
of listening
to be the most beautiful time of my life.

Excuse me now,
while I make sure
no one has left any lights on
or messed with the thermostat.
After all, I am 52!

52 Weeks of 52: Week Four

February 19, 2020
Week Four

I've been around this earth

for about 19,000+ days

and there are just some things

that I know--

for sure

without a doubt

hands down

pinky swear--

know in the  

depths and deepest part 

of my heart.

I know obvious things like

I like coffee (ok, love)

I am at home near water
with my toes in the sand

Office supply stores make me giddy

I geek over word games 

Education is a passion and

I can create rhyming words, jingles and 

rap lyrics in a snap.

I also know practical things

I am not good in the kitchen

I can not be trusted around whoopie pies

I love Seinfeld reruns 

Sitting on porches

and vintage shopping adventures

I should never try cutting my own bangs

and I just really don't like eggs 

(honestly, I've tried)

But, this past week--

This 4th week of 52,

I have been thinking about 

other things I know. 

I've been feasting my mind on those

eternal and forever

life bringing thoughts

that have not just made me filled with more things I know.

But, they've actually 

changed my heart

rearranged my thinking

strengthened my resolve

made me stronger

fostered hope

calmed my fears

allowed me to be a better version of me.

I am realizing more and more

these thoughts are really where 

my trust lies

my hope is anchored and

what I use as a filter 

when life gets rough and 

when life is good

when things seem murky

and are crystal clear.

These truths allow me to 

sing praises in storm,

trust Him when it's hard

and acknowledge Him when life's good. 

These truths I know cut right through

that first draft of a story I write

when I am offended

wounded

or angry

These truths create 

confidence when I am weak

resolve when I am strong

perseverance when I am "done"

and endurance every.single.step

These truths are embedded in my heart

and nourish my soul.

These truths could fill up this page

and 100 more .....

no maybe 100,000 more pages

But the ones dear to me this past week,

this 4th week of 52 are

He is mercy.

He is grace.

He is the light in my darkness.

He is in control.

He knows me better than anyone.

He delights in me.

In him, I have no shame.

He speaks to me and I must listen

He guides me.

He protects me. 

I can trust His plan for me.

He wants to use me. 

He is a promise keeper.

I can't do anything to get Him to love me more.

He has called me and given me purpose

These truths have

astounded me and 

grounded me

changed my outlook 

rearranged my attitude

made me wiser

and made me content

to live this life--

this year of 52

trusting Him.

It's the best thing I could ever know!

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” (Psalm 121:1-8)

52 Weeks of 52: Week 3

February 12, 2020
Week 3

If there’s one thing
I know
profess
believe
testify to &
yet can’t seem to fully grasp is
His presence in the details.

I say I know it
But, then there are these moments
where I am struck by it
in such
huge waves
that crash over me and
flood my soul.
This drenching
and saturation of
realizing His goodness to me
Stops me in my tracks
Binds my heart to gratefulness
And makes me become
Ultra aware of how
Each step
Each part
Each thing
-good
-bad
-and even the butt ugly

They all seem to
be woven into
perfection.
Everything is just
what I needed and
when I needed it.

This understanding
of how He
Loves me
Protects me
Knows me
Sees me
Understands me
Always.
I can’t even find
the words to adequately
describe it.
I try, but no words
seem to suffice.

But—
The peace that
courses through my veins
brings me rest
allows me to trust
and whispers to me,
“I am here.”