52 Weeks of 52: Week 22

June 24, 2020

Week 22

I made myself do something
I never would have done
not because I didn't want to
but because I didn't think I could

I am coming out of period of
feeling foggy
feeling insecure
feeling like I just couldn't ever
think of doing
certain things
Why?
well because
I didn't have time
I didn't have the gumption
I felt foolish
I just couldn't see past the "fog"

On vacation, last week, I had a moment
where the choice
to say yes
to go on a bike ride
helped me
wipe away some of the fog that keeps me from
being adventurous

I don't know why I have allowed the fog to remain for so long
But this ride
invigorated me
made me look past my
insecurities
fears
can't dos and
will never dos

I am hoping to do more things.
No, I am GOING to more things
like this
It was fun
It was a little scary at times
(but really only when I was trying to video while riding)
It is the beginning of
trying new things
seeing more clearly
that doing new things
can be
just what I need.

Thank you Tim
for being present
for being patient
for helping me be adventurous
for pushing me to try new things.
But, also thank you for
NOT telling me
that the lady at the visitor center told you
she has seen snakes on this trail.
Yeah.... that was probably a good choice!

52 Weeks of 52: Week 21

June 17, 2020
Week 21

Dear Ten Years Ago Me, 

Hello this is your ten years from now future self I want to let you in on some things you need to know. 

I know you really were skeptical leaving the security of your job in Virginia, the familiarity etc  but seriously this place you’re going to is just what you need, and will be a place of learning, growing and deepening your love for teaching. You’re going to see that this change of course though trying— will be an incredible journey. 

Now, I do need to tell you.  All the days won’t be perfect but you will find among this staff — a group of educators who are the most committed and sincere group of people you’ll ever meet.  You will enjoy their friendships, admire their tenacity and feel safe inside these walls. 

The community is tight knit but very accepting and you need to let them love on you— because it’s what they do best. These kids will grab your heart and you will see some of the most amazing accomplishments achieved by some of your most challenging students. 

When Mr Brinkley asks you about taking on the administrative role — do it:  I know you will be nervous and think this was not exactly what you had even thought about — but do it. Trust me.  

Also you may not want to hear this but I want to tell you — there will be a time when your life is going to get — well a little rocky— but this is why I brought you here!!!  These people .:. your coworkers, this community — they will support you— love you!!  In fact, coming to work will be the sunshine that you need in your life.  They will get you to the other side and cheer you on.  I’m telling you these people are amazing. 

One other thing— they will eventually find out all about your tendency to never take attendance, leave coffee cups in the microwave, your perpetual messy desk, and well all of those things that make you you.... but the best thing is —- they will still love you for who you are... cause that’s just the kind of people they are.  Working at East Lynne School will be the best place — you’ll see!

Sincerely,

Your future Me

2010 - Right after signing my contract at ELS

2020 After finishing Year one as Superintendent

                                                                                       

                                                                                 

52 Week of 52 : Week 20

June 10, 2020
Week 20

Psalm 16:2

I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord;

I have no good besides You.”  

In the past weeks

Well, let's just say since March 13 
when school closed

No, let's make it about July 1, 2019

as I began the journey of 

Superintendent

I have found myself praying 
about all things.
The simple
The mundane
I have become keenly aware
that in this position
I NEED help!

At some point on this journey I realized 

I was asking for things that I already have

He is my Lord and I already have all I need

because of Him.  

This thought 

This idea

This framework

has changed the way I pray

has changed my mindset

has brought me confidence in my prayer.

Not "give me strength"

But "help me tap into the strength you've given me"

Not "be with me today"

But "thank you for your presence during this time"

Not "give me peace"

But "help me to understand more deeply the peace I have in You"

This seems like just semantics

But honestly 

it has been a game changer

in the way I approach God

it reminds me that 

in Him 

I have all that I need. 

52 Weeks of 52: Week 19

June 3, 2020
Week 19

As my children leave the nest

spread their wings

and begin that journey of 

growing up

being on their own

adulting...

I too start a new chapter.

The chapter of adult children

I am still the Mom

They are still the daughter 

But things change

Two of my gems have spread their wings

so wide

so much

that we mostly stay connected

through phone calls, texting and snap chat

One of the most exciting things

for me is when

 they come home to visit

It is a different dynamic

when they live so far away

You attempt to cram into 

a short amount of time

whatever you can

whenever you can

But, I love it

The incessant flow of coffee

combined with uninterupted conversations

fills my heart

Our rambling conversations 

peppered with stories of childhood

and tempered with current updates. 

creates large chunks of sitting, talking and 

my favorite ----

laughing

I am thankful for each moment.

It is a transition --

parenting adult children.

As I maneuver this new and unknown territory. 

I still have times 

that I have no idea what I am doing

that I fumble

that I wish I would feel more confident

But I am getting better at giving myself grace

and trying to find the balance 

of listening, talking and sharing.

I sure do love when they come around

when we can be face to face

share hearts

share time

and feel 

More connected

Amazingly---

one thing
that is consistent 

still the same

hasn't changed 

one iota

is the fact that

through all of these changes, rearranges and parental transitions

the Lord still uses

my girls and

my role as a parent to

speak to me

teach me and

make me more like Himself.

After 23 1/2 years,
I am still leaning on Him 

to help me parent.

52 Weeks of 52 Week 18

May 27, 2020

Week 18

I often find myself pondering the changes that my 

Life has experienced

Over the past few years.  I have come to 

Value and cherish what I have gained from 

Each of these moments. The changes did not come without pain.

You see, being loved and giving love always requires 

One to embrace "all of the moments".  Even the 

Ugly moments have made imprints on my heart and have

Tuned my heart to still sing "Hallelujah!"

I have found myself this morning, thinking on the moments when I 

Met and later joined hearts with the guy who came into my life

One day when I least expected it. I am blessed being the wife of 

Timothy Ray Vaughn.

He has shown me Christ's love like

You can not imagine.  He is the most

Real person I know.  I am beginning to understand and 

Acclimate to the stability, security & love he has brought my life. 

Yet, even more, I am reminded today of the sovereignty of God and the 

Vast amount of goodness He has chased me with 

All the days of my life.  God has been with me through it all and has been 

Unbelievably 

Gracious to allow me to experience this renewal of 

Hope and love I thought was 

Never possible. 

52 Weeks of 52: Week 17

May 20, 2020
Week 17

Ahhhh summer break 

I used to experience a period of

settling in

sleeping in

reading books

reorganizing spaces

anticipated coffee dates

long leisurely lunches

and weeks of traveling to visit family

As the girls have grown 

and my job has changed 

so have my summers.

I remember every summer

up until about 8 years ago

I would make a list

Not like one you'd see 

in a journal

on a desk

posted by your bed

or prominently hung on the fridge

But one the size of a poster board

I'd split the paper into four quadrants

and the girls and I would each write our own

"Goals for the Summer"
in one of the squares
We would cross of goals as they were met
or even sometimes alter them
to be more realistic

The goals varied from year to year

but included everything 

from trying new recipes

menu planning

learning to ride a bike
practicing a new skill
exercising

reading goals 

or should I say...

parent induced reading goals

A favorite memory was Ellie
one summer, determined to meet

her 3 goal minimum requirement wrote:

1. Have as many friends over as possible.
2. Spend time with friends.
3. Play board games

In fact, that may have been the last time
I tried using the large family poster

for summer goal setting purposes.

My last four summers have been filled

with goals centered around
finishing a degree
reading
writing and
research

to catch up on past due assignments

or to cram in as many classes as possible
Thank the Lord that is done!

I decided today that it is time
to resurrect the large list
and hang it prominently for me to see
I am going to be intentional about what I include
I am going to be precise about what I will decide to accomplish
I might even take a cue from Ellie and
include some socializing
(6 feet distance of course)
I think after these 8 weeks of
uncertainty
crazy and
non-structured busy-ness
I may need
a list to help keep me grounded....
I wonder how many I can accomplish poolside.

52 Weeks of 52: Week 16

May 13, 2020
Week 16

The last week of school always leaves me
tired
worn out
exhausted
and running on fumes
I always vow--
that I will enjoy it more
not stress as much
not over-commit
or extend myself too thin

Throw in a pandemic
and a new set of rules
for ending the year:
no gatherings
no assemblies
no parties
no speeches
no figuring out how many
cakes to order
chairs to set out or
if we have ironed the gowns
and have enough caps
Basically, there is
no flexibility
because every virtual gathering is
scheduled
planned and
arranged ahead of time.
There has been no real closure.

Between
the zooms
the supply pick ups
and being in an empty school building
I have
lost track of time
lost track of days
lost track of what I was doing
even though I have
a large matrix schedule to follow
It has been
weird
not normal
repetitive
different.
We've organized parades
put signs in the yard
We've made every attempt to stay connected
And I am finding myself
more tired
more worn out
more exhausted
and I've run out of fumes to even run on
But this time my tired is more emotional
than physical.

I am so ready to move forward
but yet I'm told I can't move on
but instead I must pivot
into a new direction
with new guidelines
with new rules
But no worries,
I'l be right here
all summer
Trying to figure it out.