He is so kind

In the quiet moments of the morning 

I lay quietly in my bed.

Often before I rise,

and put my feet to the floor

I pray.

In honesty,

sometimes the praying turns into extra sleep.

But, it is my routine to pray

for my people

for my day

for the things that 

plague me

press me and

present challenge.

I pray through my day ahead

I ask for wisdom

I align myself

I listen.

You see, I routinely struggle

to come to terms

to put to rest 

to lay down the

feelings of 

guilt

shame

and regret.

This morning, 

He spoke kindly to my heart

about His timing

about His provision

about His plan

He told me, without hesitation,

He has seen me through it all

He has known me through it all

He has loved me through it all

He has been there through it all. 

It wasn’t the first time 

I’ve heard these words.

He has repeated them to me 

Every. single. day for four years. 

But, this morning as He spoke truth to me 

so beautifully

so specifically

so directly. 

I felt a paradigm shift

A rearrangement in my thoughts

A letting go -- 

like the real kind of letting go

The never going to pick it back up again kind of letting go.

This brings me hope.

And hope walks hand and hand with courage!

Courage, to approach each day victorious 

because of He who lives in me. 

He is so kind to me.

52 Weeks of 52: Week 52

 Week 52
January 18, 2020

I am closing out and 
raising a toast to Week 52 of being 52
These 52 weeks were certainly unprecedented

filled with firsts for everyone

I have said at least weekly,

"This is such a weird year!"

This last week our toaster

gave up her life

I have never really grown attached to 

any kind of kitchen appliance until this toaster 

which holds special meaning to me.

When moving into our duplex

in April of 2017 

I was amazed and energized 

by the way the Lord provided.

It seemed at every turn 

I was reminded of His goodness.

On the day after we moved

I was savoring the reality of 

an unpacked and settled home

a stocked fridge

a place where so many came together 

and made it happen 

I was looking at a place

that would be our refuge

offering peace to my heart.

I thanked the Lord profusely for His goodness 

and remarked that as I looked over the list I had made 

of things I needed

I was amazed the only thing missing was a toaster. 

I figured I could do without

and find a cheap one somewhere

I left that morning 

to meet a friend for breakfast

and when I returned there was a vase of flowers on my doorstep 

that included a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond.

The Lord whispered to me

"I want you to have the best toaster!"

The toaster in the photo was what I bought that day.

But more than a toaster --

I received a sweet reminder from the Lord.

He would provide whatever I needed

He would direct my steps

He would protect me

Better yet, 

He reminded me that I was not to worry about 

a single thing 

because he already had it figured out 

I could trust Him with it all.

He assured me that...

He sees me

He knows me

He delights in me.

As I wrap up year 52

I've seen 52 weeks  that have been like no other

We have faced 

uncertainty

sadness

and unrest.

We have seen

sickness

protests and

unprecedented discord

We had a front row seat

to bothers and sisters

once united

now spewing hatred and 

have witnessed

all things ugly

But as I prepare to make another 

trip around the sun 

(and retire this most special toaster)

The Lord whispers once again

"Do not be weary, I've still got this"

I  see you

I  know you

I  delight in you

There is nothing

NOTHING

that can change that!

52 Week of 52: Week 38

Week 38
October 14, 2020

There has been much discussion
and debate over the exact day
that declares when we 
first met
It is hard to define
since it took some time 
and text messages before 
we actually physically met
But I remember praying 
and letting the Lord know
I was feeling like I was at a point
where I didn't think I could make it
How was I going to support myself
How was I going to keep it all afloat
I sent out a bit of an SOS
one laying out specific things I needed
The prayer was long 
the prayer was detailed 
the prayer was heartfelt

and....
It was shortly after that, we met 
so while the meeting

centered around 
a laptop
and the exact date 

can not be determined
We look to the "book of face"
who helps us remember 
when we don't
when things actually happened
He friended me
to alleviate my fears,  I assume
that the guy I was meeting at the 
McDonalds for the laptop exchange 
was not a crazy ax murderer. 
So, October 14th is the day we celebrate
our “FB Friendaversary” 

which is followed by our “Meetavesary” 

and then is followed up by “a whirlwind” — and I’m living the most amazing dream possible.
#

52 Weeks of 52 : Week 35

 Week 35

September 23, 2020

I don't know who started
National Daughter Day
But I certainly have reason to celebrate!
These gals
who call me Mumsy
have transformed into
beautiful, young ladies
I now call friend.
Celebrating these beautiful gems

comes easy

My praise for them

falls quickly from my lips

without effort

I am moved with emotion

as I watch them

navigate life

Do the things they think they can't

I pray daily for them

to grow in grace

to see that the Lord is faithful

to see that HE is good

to know the HE delights in every single fiber of their being.

I love to be called their Mumsy

It's not perfect

It's downright messy

But these three humans

have a piece of my heart

are fiercely loved

and I relish the moments we share.

We are traveling a journey together

that is unique

that is our story

52 Weeks of 52 : Week 34

 Week 34

September 16, 2020

A visit to my hometown

has stirred up quite a bit in my soul

that I can barely put into words

My connection to the Burg

has dwindled some

It has gotten more difficult to get back there 

on a regular basis 

since we live halfway across the country 

This visit was a reminder

of how this place

my childhood stomping grounds

had a huge impact on who I am today

This weekend was so special to me

I enjoyed being able to hear my Dad speak

and take part in an amazing 250th celebration

of Davids Church

I am so thankful to have made the trip

I am so thankful to have decided 

a trip during the first week back to school

 during a pandemic was actually not a bad idea!

Because it was JUST WHAT I NEEDED!

52 Weeks of 52: Week 33

 Week 33
September 9, 2020

A hometown visit offers

an opportunity to snag a few hours

with this gem. 
She is a beautiful soul and

my admiration runs deep for the

way she shaped and molded my life

I am forever grateful

and find myself trying to emulate her

every.single.day

I realize quickly

My life would not have been the same
Had it not been touched
And continue to be touched
Significantly
By this woman.
Mrs. June Baker
PE teacher
And now- my friend.
She always has a special ‘word’ to say
A significant way to make me feel valued
I only hope—
I pray
I can instill the same thing
To the students in my building
Mrs. Baker
Mrs. B
Life changer
World changer
Now— my friend
June
The deposits she made in my life
Now yield dividends
And spill out into the lives of
my students

52 Weeks of 52: Week 32

Week 32

September 5, 2020

Millersburg.

My hometown of 18 years

The place that molded me

The people who shaped me

Nostalgia

Reminiscing

So many thoughts

All the big feels

Every moment

Shaped by His hand

Ordained by Him.

I am blessed.

I am grateful.

Looking back- I realize

This truth remains

He sees me

He knows me

He delights in me.

Photo: the homestead