He is so kind

In the quiet moments of the morning 

I lay quietly in my bed.

Often before I rise,

and put my feet to the floor

I pray.

In honesty,

sometimes the praying turns into extra sleep.

But, it is my routine to pray

for my people

for my day

for the things that 

plague me

press me and

present challenge.

I pray through my day ahead

I ask for wisdom

I align myself

I listen.

You see, I routinely struggle

to come to terms

to put to rest 

to lay down the

feelings of 

guilt

shame

and regret.

This morning, 

He spoke kindly to my heart

about His timing

about His provision

about His plan

He told me, without hesitation,

He has seen me through it all

He has known me through it all

He has loved me through it all

He has been there through it all. 

It wasn’t the first time 

I’ve heard these words.

He has repeated them to me 

Every. single. day for four years. 

But, this morning as He spoke truth to me 

so beautifully

so specifically

so directly. 

I felt a paradigm shift

A rearrangement in my thoughts

A letting go -- 

like the real kind of letting go

The never going to pick it back up again kind of letting go.

This brings me hope.

And hope walks hand and hand with courage!

Courage, to approach each day victorious 

because of He who lives in me. 

He is so kind to me.