52 Weeks of 52: Week 6

March 4, 2020
Week 6

My life seems to

maintain a dysfunctional balance

of being a control freak 

that orchestrates the outcome 

of ALL things

to making sure everyone is happy

and losing control of myself in the mix of things.

It's not a great combination, 

but rather a toxic cocktail that produces

self doubt

insecurity

anxious thoughts

defeat

lots of negativity 

protective walls &

isolation.

Recently,

I've been determined to defeat

these tendencies 

these habits

these things that 

sabotage  

drive a wedge 

create confusion 

and have me seek the road that's

most traveled

most safe

most likely to have me not face difficulties head on.

And what have I discovered?

I can do hard things. 

Well, that was the plan, anyway.

I quickly found myself 

in the middle of messes

in the center of stress

and up to my eyeballs in what looked like

the impossible.

But in these times of

unpredictability

uncertainty

and crazy 

I have become keenly aware 

of profound truths.

When doing hard things
 I acknowledge...Christ in me!

This allows me to do hard things &

accomplish the unbelievable

with confidence 

and assurance.

Some days I've looked back

and wondered,

"How was that even possible?"

Quickly I see traces of 

His presence

His hand

His heart and I realize

without Him, 

none of it would be possible.

Doing hard things

IS HARD. 

This doesn't mean 

it's negative

it has to be stressful

or you can't have peace

I have seen in my season

of "hard things"

He has used these things

to teach me incredible lessons.

I have been 

more centered

more focused

more aware of just how good He has been to me.

Doing hard things

teaches me great life lessons of 

being vulnerable

asking for help

seeking His face

being open to admit my weaknesses

and acknowledging--

I  can learn from others

I am allowed to mess up

It's okay for me to not be the best, 

and reasonable to always strive to be better

I need to be still

and listen 

ask for direction

step out in faith 

(even if it feels like that scene

from Raiders of the Lost Ark)

I trust Him and have

developed a faith that knows 

when He is speaking.

Sometimes it has been a soft whisper and 

other times, He speaks loudly

above the noise of my life.

But His speaking to my heart 

has made this "doing hard things"

the most amazing time of my life

I have seen Him take me 

beyond my fears

and into opportunities that 

years ago

I thought impossible.

It's Week 6 -

I am seeing Him move 

I am seeing His hand in ALL things

I no longer want to control it all

I aim only to please Him.

And I'm finding REST in it all.