52 Weeks of 52: Week 13

Week 13: April 22, 2020

Scrolling through some Facebook memories
I noticed a post from 10 years ago, today.
I was exclaiming triumphantly
about officially
finally
getting a job.
My 4 months of
looking
waiting &
wondering
were finally over.
 I was overjoyed--
Everything was working out
just like I had planned
God was good
Life was good
It all was going to be grand!

What I didn't know--
two weeks later
the job would fall through
I would be left
looking
waiting &
wondering
AGAIN.
At the time,
it seemed
unfair
unjust
and downright --
unbelievable!
I was not rejoicing
I was not hopeful.
I did eventually recover (sigh)
and He provided a
perfect
just right
best for me
job.
The "10 years ago" me
had no clue
of  the path my life would
soon take.

As I reflect on these years,
It has not always looked perfect
It has not always been pleasant.
Actually...
It has been hard.
Probably the hardest season of my life.

But in it all
I have learned
I have realized
I wholeheartedly believe
my joy does not come from
my circumstances
or current state of affairs
My joy comes from knowing
My hope is in Him.

He has brought me to a
beautiful place
of rest and contentment
not because
all is just right and problem-free
Some days--
I still want to
curl up in a blanket
live in comfort
protect myself from
"all the things"

But, I have found
my lips more easily praise Him
my heart more readily surrenders
Because I can look back and see
His plan
His purpose
His direction
all allow me to live
in a constant state of rejoicing!

I find it ironic --
No, providential
that on my list of things to do today
(10 years later)
is turning in the final draft of my research
with the second round of edits done
by the end of today it will be
publish ready!
I am excited
I am thrilled
I am relieved
I am thankful
and thank you JESUS...
I am D.O.N.E!

It has been 10 years in the making
But WOW--
He has been preparing me
He has been molding me
He has been laying out this path
Of course-- I am happy to be done!
But my true joy comes from knowing
deep down
that He
who has promised me eternal life
who has saved me
who delights in me
has also
planned my days
provided my strength
given me wisdom
used all things for my good
created me for such a time as this...

and in Him I find my hope and REJOICE!